


To Be A Parent

by traceExcalibur



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Parenthood, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-06
Updated: 2012-01-06
Packaged: 2017-10-29 01:51:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/314537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/traceExcalibur/pseuds/traceExcalibur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She is the heiress to the most powerful corporation in the world, and so she lives her life as a walking target. He is her father, and so he lives his life gripped by fear and paranoia.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Be A Parent

To be a parent is to be a hero. To raise a child is to groom a champion for the next generation. It is one of the most fulfilling careers one could ever dream of. But in parenthood there are dangers, and there can be terrible, terrible pain.

There is the pain of watching your child grow apart from you, but in that there is also joy, for you know that they will grow to make you proud. There is the pain of watching your child’s heart broken, but in that there is also hope, for you know they will become stronger and wiser. There is the pain of watching your child die, and in that there is no joy or hope.

Time and time again he has forbidden her to leave the house and time and time again she has disobeyed him. She is adventurous, daring, spunky. She is everything he’s ever wanted in a daughter but she is everything he dreads, because she does not fear her death nearly as much as he does. She is the heiress to the most powerful corporation in the world, and so she lives her life as a walking target. He is her father, and so he lives his life gripped by fear and paranoia.

He is in the back hosing down the car when he hears the crash. A pit falls in his stomach, a terrible shuddering feeling overwhelms him, and he runs back to the house quick as his legs can carry him. He brushes past the ruined wall, looking for his daughter, and sees her en route to the mailbox. Why? Why didn’t she listen to him? Why does she insist on marching forward so naively?

He runs. He sprints straight to the mailbox and he calls out to her and in a burst of light and an explosion she is gone.

The finality of it is a knife through his chest, tearing him apart.

She’s gone and it’s his fault, he could have stopped it, could have done more to keep her inside, could have kept her safe…

The terror and the sorrow all threaten to cascade down upon him. His knees tremble and his eyes water, and he wants to lie down and never get up, to shut down completely until his world is made right again. He wants to be the one to die, he wants nothing more than for his daughter to be back, to be safe. He looks around wildly as though expecting someone to appear to help him.

He sees her. She is unharmed.

Relief floods his veins for only a second before a terrible anger overwhelms him. Why did she do it? Why, for even the slightest second, did she let him think she was dead? Why would she break his heart like this? Does she even realize what she’s doing to him, what she could have done if she had really died?

He thrusts his arm out, pointing to the house. She is grounded. _Forever._

She stomps back up to her room and the look on her face speaks volumes, it tells him that she thinks he is being so unfair, so overprotective. He pulls the bathtub straight from the wall and blocks her door with it, and then he stumbles downstairs and leans against the wall.

He does not ground her because of her disobedience, not really. It’s not because he hates her. It’s because he loves her and he can’t bear to lose her, and she has proven to him that this is the only way he can keep her safe. What if she hates him for this? What if she still cannot understand? The tears he was holding back come readily to him and he sinks to the floor, shuddering, his hands wrapped around him in some frail, broken imitation of a hug.

Why won’t she listen, he asks the silence, and the silence responds:

Because you’ve failed her.


End file.
